Ephesians 5…25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—
My grandfather cherished my grandmother. Absolutely and totally. His eyes would sparkle whenever she walked into the room; and I’m not sure that he ever even raised his voice to her in anger, much less his hand. Granny completely worshiped him as well. She put his needs before her own or even those of my mother and her two siblings. She was his cheerleader, business partner, and best friend. He was her protector, her confidante, and her entire world. They spent their entire lives working together to build something lasting, permanent, eternal. Separated by World War II, they wrote letters of love and support to one another and continually fed their love to keep it strong. Whenever I read the passage from Ephesians that describes the church as the “bride of Christ”, their marriage is the example I see. I’ve always wanted the kind of relationship that they had, felt like it was the pattern I could happily follow for my own life.
I think that feeling cherished is what was missing from my almost-19-year marriage. Instead, I was an emotional employee…convenient, but easily replaced. Pleasant, but not VITAL. Another wordpress blogger (ameliashope, “Counseling”, Dec. 15, 2011) perfectly encapsulated what I feel was missing. I share her words here.
“I deserve to have my lover reach for me, to want to touch me and to hold me, to caress my body and to make love to me. I deserve to have my lover make me feel sacred, special, smart, funny and to take special care of me when I’m sick. And I deserve to have a life full of wonderment to share.”
We all deserve the same, no matter what flavor our Kool-Aid may be. Drink up!